


Don't Talk Smack About the Caped Crusader

by OriginalCeenote



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: 2X5 - Freeform, Christmas Caroling, Coffee, Fluff, Gundam Wing Holiday Gift Exchange, M/M, Meet-Cute, No Sex, Pre-Slash, Tumblr Prompt, onesie pajamas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 07:26:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17260058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OriginalCeenote/pseuds/OriginalCeenote
Summary: This still wasn’t the most embarrassing thing that happened to Wufei in his lifetime, but it was definitely in his top five. Playing his sophomore saxophone solo during his school’s winter concert with his fly open scored a little higher than this.The guy with the wicked dimples in his cheeks and gleaming blue-violet eyes was grinning at him. Wufei wanted to punch his lights out.“I always wanted to visit the Batcave. Gonna give me a tour, big fella?”





	Don't Talk Smack About the Caped Crusader

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kirinjaegeste](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirinjaegeste/gifts).



> Taken from the Tumblr prompt, “You and your caroling group stopped at my house and you sang so beautifully I forgot I was wearing Batman pajamas and opened the door.”
> 
> This is a gift for kirinjaegeste as part of the Gundam Wing Holiday Gift Exchange.

xWufei’s alarm that he set on his smartphone seven hours earlier blared Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer” and jerked him from a shallow sleep. He groaned and flipped over, throwing half the covers off and glaring up at the ceiling. The room was pleasantly dark, finally, after an afternoon of futile attempts at sleep and taking a melatonin, chamomile and magnesium sleep remedy that didn’t do jack shit. Wufei was beginning to regret his decision to work nights, but it still beat day shift at the hospital by a country mile.

He wallowed in bed for a few more minutes, enjoying the silence and peace before he had to lay out his clothing, shower, and pack his supper. The sky outside was cobalt blue, telling him he had missed sunset. He could only remember the barest fringes of his dreams, telling him he’d gotten some actual sleep, but not that deep. He rose, yawned, stretched, and scratched himself thoroughly through the heavy fleece onesie that had been a gag gift from Sally at his department’s white elephant gift exchange. The bat insignias actually glowed in the dark. She brought that gift into the office to troll whoever received it, but the joke was on her because it was his favorite thing that he’d received that Christmas. The actual holiday was in another three days, and Wufei wasn’t planning anything more ambitious than some Pillsbury cookies, Netflix, takeout pizza, and some valuable nap time with his cat, Otaku.

He was still bleary-eyed as he wandered into the kitchen of his rented duplex. His neighbor’s tacky Christmas lights were flashing and throwing gaudy prisms of colored light in through his windows. He also heard his across-the-street neighbor running his snow blower just this side shy of too late for etiquette. An early season blizzard dumped down another three inches of soft-packed white on Wufei’s front walk right after he shoveled it. Wufei dumped out the old grounds in his coffee maker and filled a fresh filter with Starbucks Veranda Blend blond roast to guarantee his ability to remain civil for the rest of the work night. Wufei loved his patients, but he didn’t always love waiting for orders from doctors who were rounding late or who didn’t check their messages, and of _course_ this was Christmas. He let the coffee perk while he picked out his work clothes from the same six sets of scrubs he wore every week and simply rotated through the laundry. Wufei was about to turn on the shower, when he heard a knocking at his neighbor’s door, louder than the UPS man would before leaving Wufei’s packages in a snow drift.

Wufei peeked out through the sidelight window of his front door and caught a glimpse of heavy winter coats, rain boots and Santa hats, and he groaned in annoyance. Great. Carolers. He heard a couple of children’s voices giggling in high-pitched tones and wondered why their parents encouraged this. They knocked and knocked, but his neighbor didn’t come to the door. Just this once, Wufei empathized with him. But then, he heard the shuffling of feet thudding down his short flight of steps, and it sounded like they were headed for _his_ front porch. Wufei sighed. “Why, Lord?” he muttered.

Sure enough, they knocked loudly on his door; Wufei silently prayed they would get beaned by the icicles dangling from the eaves of his roof. He hid in his kitchen in the dark, but he saw one of the little crumb snatchers peering in through the sidelight, leaning against the glass with mittened hands.

“I thought I saw someone, Daddy,” announced. “Can we sing anyway?”

“It’s more fun when they come to the door, pumpkin.”

“Awwww! I wanna SING for him! It’s Christmas.”

_Jesus_...

Wufei wandered into sight and waved briefly, holding his empty coffee cup and a bottle of flavored creamer, and the little girl’s face lit up. She was a tiny thing, and her shock of short, bright red hair rivaled the fuzzy red ear muffs she wore. Okay. She was cute. Wufei had to admit that. She jumped up and down and announced, “There he is! LOOK! He’s coming out! We get to sing!”

“Okay, and a one, and a two, and a three…” Wufei heard a single blast of a harmonica before they broke into song. Wufei didn’t know if it was a small mercy that this was happening to him before he went to work, instead of having to come home to it after a long day of lab draws when he was dead on his feet. They launched into “O Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” with more confidence and volume than actual skill. Wufei hovered in his living room, watching the little girl through the sidelight, just singing her little heart out. She had a slightly screechy soprano that… might be passably good once she matured. 

Wufei decided to indulge them. He set down the coffee creamer and his mug and crossed the living room, unlocked the door, and stepped into the chilly doorway. His carolers were a bigger group than he’d guessed, roughly a dozen of them, and half of them had crowded their way up onto his porch. Their noses and cheeks were rosy from the cold, and the tiny redhead held her father’s hand and swung it back and forth. He was tall and barrel-chested, sandy-haired, and had a deep, rich voice that rose slightly above the cacophony of mismatched voices. Wufei smiled, calm and polite as they serenaded him.

To his surprise, a young man about his own age stepped forward onto the porch and began a lilting solo in a baritone so strong and pure that it sent chills down Wufei’s spine. He was an inch or two taller than him, lean, with broad shoulders and pleasingly narrow hips. His chestnut brown hair was pulled back in a braid but tucked under his jacket; Wufei couldn’t tell how long it was at first glance.

His, eyes, though. So deep a shade of blue that they appeared violet under Wufei’s porch light. Wufei stood transfixed, his casual smile freezing on his face. He finished his chorus on a resonant note before he stepped back slightly to let his cohorts join back in. Wufei was sorry he had, since none of them could match his skill.

They finished the song just as Wufei was beginning to get a nippley chill from being outside and underdressed for it. He started to shift from one foot to the other to emphasize that it was time for the caroling group to wrap it up.

Wufei clapped politely and called out “Bravo! Bravo!” He didn’t add “Encore” because he was freezing his balls off, and he had to get warm, caffeinated and ready for work.

“Merry Christmas!” a slender, young woman with wheat blonde hair called out, waving to him with an amused smile. Wufei’s brows drew together, but he returned her wave as she retreated.

“Thank you for the song,” Wufei replied.

“Glad you liked it, Dark Knight!” the baritone piped up, and just like that, Wufei was pulled sharply back to reality.

He’d come to the door… in his pajamas. In a glow-in-the-dark Batman onesie, no less. _With feet_.

The tiny redhead was bouncing on her feet, and she pointed out what was in plain sight, too. “He’s in his PJs, Daddy! LOOK!”

Wufei ducked back inside his doorframe sheepishly, face flushing hotly despite the chill. Ponytail Guy was grinning broadly and enjoying himself too much at Wufei’s expense.

“Thought we were just going caroling to check out all the Christmas lights. You’re the most impressive thing I’ve seen all night, buddy.”

This still wasn’t the most embarrassing thing that happened to Wufei in his lifetime, but it was definitely in his top five. Playing his sophomore saxophone solo during his school’s winter concert with his fly open scored a little higher than this.

The guy with the wicked dimples in his cheeks and gleaming blue-violet eyes was grinning at him. Wufei wanted to punch his lights out.

“I always wanted to visit the Batcave. Gonna give me a tour, big fella?”

“Not even in your dreams, pal. Good night.”

“Awwwww!”

That was the last Wufei heard of that voice before he closed his door on that caroling group. He thought he heard the blonde telling him “Shut up, Duo, don’t tease him! Maybe he just woke up!” That didn’t make it any better. Not even the tiniest bit.

They trooped off down to the next apartment complex, and Wufei sought out his coffee and leftovers. That was enough nonsense for tonight.

*

Wufei headed off to work bundled to the teeth and noticed that the carolers were out of sight. Maybe they got sick of the cold? Who knew. Wufei drove to the hospital and found himself a parking spot on the top floor of the structure, leaving him feeling annoyed that his car would probably be covered in snow by morning. Wufei entered with his badge and clocked in, put away his dinner, and went to his department’s start of shift huddle.

“Lots of scheduled draws on Med Surg today,” his supervisor told him. “We also have one for you on the Oncology wing that we missed this morning because Admitting made a mistake on the birthdate.”

“I’ll try to hit that one first.”

“No. Not yet. We have one in the ER for you first. Then you can head up to the floors.”

“Fair enough.”

Wufei prepped his lab cart, stocking it with needles and tubes, printed out his assignment for the night, and trekked down to the ER’s first pod on the left. Predictably, it was full; that always happened on the holiday. Wufei automatically put on a yellow mask to avoid the germs everybody was coughing into the air. He badged his way in through the security doors and waded through the hallway of gurneys and linen cupboards, checking in at the nurse’s station to find his patient.

“Bed nineteen,” she told him cheerfully.

It turned out to be a troponin draw for a suspected heart attack. Wufei introduced himself to the anxious family and filled the blood vial quickly and wished them a peaceful holiday at home. As he retreated from the room, however, he heard two familiar voices around the corner, in one of the rooms.

“Leave it to me to end up flat on my ass. Who doesn’t salt their front walkway in this kind of weather?”

“Black ice sucks. Didn’t help that you wearing those boots.”

“I _love_ these boots.”

“Yeah? Well, you won’t be wearing them for about a week, now.”

Wufei peered through the crack of the door, and he saw the blonde from his earlier impromptu concert seated on an exam table with her foot propped up and an ice pack laid on her ankle. The baritone was just as familiar. Wufei backed up, knowing he shouldn’t have been poking around, but just as he turned to leave, he heard that voice ask him, “Hey. Buddy. Know where we can get one of those warm blankets? Rey’s a little bit chilly. This place is cold as balls, y’know? Hey. I know you.”

Wufei turned and stared into those blue-violet eyes again, and he lowered his mask to further confirm his identity. That made the baritone grin at him again, dimples on full display. “Hey.”

“Hi. You need a blanket?”

“She really could use one. Poor thing’s already cold, and they gave her an ice pack for her ankle. She sprained it when we were leaving a house, and she slipped on some ice.”

“That stinks.”

“Know what else stinks?”

Wufei shook his head, and his lips already twisted into a smirk in anticipation.

“ _Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg…_ ”

“Oh, God. That… that was unnecessary on so many levels.”

“C’mon. That was perfect. I’m not even talking smack, man. Those were awesome pajamas.”

“I’ll get you a blanket.”

“Sorry. I am. I just saw the opportunity and couldn’t let it go.”

“Eh. You could’ve let that go.” Wufei crossed the corridor and opened the large, metal cupboard and pulled out a folded bath blanket, toasty and warm from the heating unit inside. “Here. She’ll enjoy this. It’s nice and warm.”

“Nice.” He looked gleeful as he took it from Wufei.

“Who are you talking to, Duo?” Rey called out from the room.

“Batman,” he told her simply, winking at Wufei as he did. Okay. He was cute. He would give him that. “He’s out of uniform.”

“No. This is my uniform.”

“I like a man in uniform,” he teased.

Wufei felt himself blush again. “Uh. I’ve gotta go.” Wufei leaned around the doorway and waved at the girl again. “Hope you feel better. Watch your step.”

“Oh, my God, it’s the Dark Knight! Hi!” She grinned at him too, and Wufei decided he was about done. He spared her companion another look. He had his jacket off, and Wufei finally saw his ponytail hanging to its full length, one long, neat rope that reached all the way past his waist. _Wow._

“You look nice in real clothes. Hey. I’m Duo.” He reached for Wufei’s hand, which smelled freshly of alcohol sanitizer gel, but his grip was firm and warm. Wufei felt a warm tingle in his gut.

“Wufei.”

“That’s different. It’s. It’s nice.”

“I have to go. Oh. Here.” Wufei went to the nurse’s station and fished out two of the lollipops from the large, Dollar Tree Christmas candy bowl and returned to the room. He handed one to Duo and stepped past him to give one to Rey, who giggled. “For good behavior.”

“Suuuuure. Buddy, you don’t know us that well.”

It was on the tip of Wufei’s tongue to ask him what he could do to fix that.

“Merry Christmas. Get home soon,” he told them quietly.

”Merry Christmas, Batman.”

 

Wufei would never live that down…

*

 

Wufei pulled into his driveway the next morning and realized he hadn’t checked his mail the day before. He struggled with the janky door on the mailbox and extracted a handful of bills and junk mail. But as he leafed through it on his way to his front door, he noticed a small green envelope with his name scrawled on it in Sharpie pen.

“Huh. Okay.”

He opened it and found a Starbucks gift card and a small, hand-scribbled note.

_Merry Christmas, Caped Crusader. You vanished to fight crime before I could get your number. So, here’s mine. - Duo._

_PS - nice jammies. Bet they look better lying on the floor._

“Oh, shit…”

 

FIN.


End file.
